So, this is my first blog entry, as it has been a BUSY few months for my family! Between school letting out for the summer, an offer from my parents to enter into an interest-free rent-to-own situation, and the resulting move, on top of our regular work schedules, I feel like I have been on go-mode since mid-May! We survived it, though, and here I am, ready to discuss something very personal: Coming Out to our Family.
So, I have to go back, to get to the present. I started on my Pagan Path many years ago. I was living in Michigan, and had fallen away from the church I had been raised in. Call it a crisis of faith, or whatever you want. Suffice it to say, I realized the hypocrisy of the church I was attending, and I got out. Now, I had always been fascinated by World Religions, and I had studied many of them. Purely academically, mind you! I wanted to learn about them, but had no interest in converting. None of them “spoke” to me, if you get what I mean. In 2006, I met someone who became a very dear friend. Her Mom was Wiccan, and I was intrigued. Here was a religion that I had not studied! I’d heard of Wicca, and Witchcraft as a whole, but never looked more into it. So, I picked up a few books from Barnes & Noble, and dived in!
Long story short, Wicca spoke to me. Between the reverence for Nature, the balance between the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine, and the Power of Your Will, it spoke very much to a young woman who had felt powerless for a long time. So, I took the next step, and started my Year and a Day Study with my Teacher. She introduced me to her Coven, and between her and the group, I learned a lot! Those 366 days flew by, and before I knew it, I was done. I was given my “Witch Name,” and I was in!
Unfortunately, that was around the time my entire world fell apart. I had been in a committed relationship, and we were due to be Handfasted on Samhain… until he broke off the engagement a month before. Within 3 weeks of that, I found out I was pregnant… and then I had my 4th miscarriage. Finally, and most devastatingly, I got a call from my Stepdad, informing me that my Mom had been diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer. So here I was, hundreds of miles away, while my Mom was fighting a disease that could very possibly kill her. At that point, I knew it was time to go home.
When I got back, things went back to normal. I got my old job back, reconnected with old friends, and started supporting my Mom as she went through chemo. The one thing that was missing, was the coven. Oh, I kept practicing as a solitary, but it wasn’t the same. One day, however, it came to a head. My Mom walked in on me doing some reading. I figured if I was going to have to be a Solitary Witch, I needed to figure out how best to go about that transition! She saw my Pentacle, my Book of Shadows, and went into Panic Mode. She told me that she would not allow that under her roof, and said I needed to get rid of all of it. So I did.
I went back to church, and towed the line. I wasn’t UNhappy, but I wasn’t fulfilled, either. I managed to hide my Pentacle, but all the rest of my “Witchy Woo Stuff,” as I called it, was gone. I got reestablished, moved out, met the man that became my first husband. We got married, I got pregnant, he got abusive, and I left. The divorce was finalized, I got a better job, and almost seven years after I left my ex, I met my current partner. Little did I realize that this man would be the one to return me to the path I was always meant to be on.
Don has always said that he knew there was something “more” about me. He picked up on that almost immediately. It all started when he saw me admiring a deck of Faery Tarot Cards. He saw I liked them, so he bought them for me, because that’s how he is. After that, it snowballed. A book on Moon Magick, Magickal Herbs, Kitchen Witchery. A book on the Celtic Pantheon. Witch Stones, crystals, and tumbled stones. Finally, my friend started this group, and my fate was sealed. I was truly back to where I was almost 15 years ago, when I left Michigan. I was happy, but I was quiet… because I could NOT, under any circumstances, let my parents find out.
So, that brings us to today. I have my Triple Goddess suncatcher in a window. I have an altar set up on my dresser. I have a wind-chime with a small Pentacle on my front porch. I’m not sure what my Mom has noticed, or not. She messaged me with a correction on something I posted in our group’s private Facebook Group, but I don’t know how she saw it. She hasn’t brought it up, so I’m not going to. I’m not going to hide it, but I am going to maintain my quiet out of respect for us both. Choosing what to say, and who to say it to, is a very personal choice, much like the Craft itself! It is for each person to decide for themselves. Maybe someday, I will feel like I can be honest about my Truth with my folks… but today is not that day!
Blessed Be! )O(
Spirit of the Alleghenies 